Parkhouse Hill and Chrome Hill Circular on AllTrails
Distance: 7.6km
ETA: 4 hours
Elevation: 456m
Okay, let's be dramatic for a moment: Parkhouse Hill almost finished me. Almost. I know, I know, I'm prone to hyperbole, but this hike, attempted in truly atrocious weather, genuinely pushed me to my limits. We set out with the best intentions to conquer the famous trail mystically named ‘The Dragons Back’, due to rock formation looking like a sleeping dragon, but Mother Nature had other plans.
This route is known for its stunning views and challenging terrain. We were prepared for a bit of a climb, but the conditions we encountered were something else entirely. We started in thick fog with constant drizzle, the ground was a quagmire, and the limestone sections were slicker than an ice rink. Even with good walking boots and our experience as hikers, we found it incredibly difficult to get a grip. Every step felt like a potential slip or slide.
Needless to say I didn't get a lot of photos from this route as I was clinging on for dear life.
Let's just say things got a little hairy. The wind howled, the rain poured, and I'm pretty sure I saw a few sheep laughing at us. The climb became less about enjoying the scenery and more about just trying to stay upright. There were moments when I genuinely thought this might be the end of me (okay, maybe not quite the end, but definitely the end of my dignity).
After battling the elements for a while, we made the wise decision to abandon the next ascent of Chrome Hill. Pride be damned, survival was the priority! And that's when we were so grateful we took this one on with our amazing friends Laura, David and Luna. A mini rescue mission ensued, with the Spare human/David suddenly became not so spare, expertly guiding us back down the treacherous slopes, retrieving my backpack for me after I launched it into the abyss (hey, it was the backpack, or me!!).
We're eternally grateful for his help – he saved us from becoming a feature on the local news, even if my backpack was returned with one or two suspect items he found on the hill that were definitely not mine 😂🫣.
Despite the near-death experience (ahem!), we actually had a pretty fun adventure. There's something about facing adversity with friends that creates a unique bond. We laughed, we slipped, we cursed the weather, and we celebrated our eventual (and slightly soggy) return to safety. It's always a good day out when you're with good company, even if that day involves a near-disaster on a Derbyshire hill.
Final Thoughts
Will we attempt Parkhouse Hill again? Absolutely! But only when the weather is significantly better. We're determined to conquer this full route and actually enjoy the views we've heard so much about. Until then, we'll stick to gentler slopes and better weather. Lesson learned: Parkhouse Hill in bad weather is not for the faint of heart (or those who value dry trousers).
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